Perception

Some people see me as a bitch. This is due to several things.

1. I'm loud. I seem to only have one volume, which is about an 11. At a whisper I'm maybe a 6, but that's trying REALLY hard to be quiet.

2. I'm honest. To a fault. I say what I am thinking pretty much 95% of the time. Now being honest is a good thing in general, but due to my lack of brain filter some of the stuff that comes out of my mouth is not always, shall we say, tactful.

3. I swear more than I should.

4. I have an opinion. On EVERYTHING.

But probably mostly because, well I can be a REAL bitch.

Every now and then though you realise you do something that you see as self preservation where other people see as bitchy behavior. It's all perception really.

I guess for me the big test as to how irrational I've been is to review things the next day. If I look back and think shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, usually means I stuffed up. If I look back and think "OK....maybe slightly hasty, a bit (or alot) of an overreaction, and a touch dramatic" but I am ultimately still OK with what happened then as crazy as I was at the time, the right decision was made.

Perception is a funny thing though. How people perceive you can define you if you're not careful. It's tricky not to get to sucked into believing the things others say or think of you, generally especially if those things are negative. Or maybe that's just me. If someone tells you something long enough, whether it be true or not that seed of doubt gets planted, and with enough water (thoughts) it can grow to this huge effing tree of self crapness.

And I for one, am jack of it. I embrace who I am. I am fat (but working on it). I am honest. I am loyal. I am loud. I cry at everything. I love my family and friends with an immeasurable strength. And, I am proud to say, I am a bitch. But you know what? I. Am. Me. And I think that overall, I'm not too bad. Not perfect, but OK.

And you know what? I think you're pretty freaking awesome too.

J

I confess.....

Ok, So I've been inspired by a new FB group I'm in to spend a bit more time on my blog. Now, don't get all crazy like and think I'm going to start blogging about massively important issues like world peace, but I am going to put my general thoughts about life, love and what pee's me off into the ether a bit more often. Starting tonight.

For those of you new to the inner workings of my somewhat addled brain it basically consists of 40% pointless movie facts (I KICK ARSE at 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon), 40% Song Lyrics (pretty much anything from the 50's to Chart music) and the 20% that's left is stuff that might be remotely useful in day to day life.

I have many hobbies. I love to sew, I love to read, I LOVE to try new things (that I usually do for about three weeks then move on....), I love food (hence my sizable arse), I love live music and I love to write.

I also love to read trashy magazines such as Who and NW. I immerse myself in them. I know, it's a tragic waste of that 20% that I could be using for that important stuff, but I'll let you in to a secret as to WHY I read them.....It's really very simple. They make me feel better about MYSELF. I mean seriously.

Exhibit A:

Nicki Minaj. The chick has probably a bajillion dollars, well maybe not a bajillion, but a shitload and this is the BEST outfit she could muster??? Now, I know she might be going for the quirky/odd/WTF factor, which she would have achieved had Lady Gaga not been doing it for a couple of years. This makes me feel better about my fashion choices. Even when I was 10 years old wearing lime green bike pants and had a mullet I DID NOT LOOK THIS BAD!!!

Exhibit B:

Angelina Jolie. Now SHE has a bajillion dollars. This chick has Brad Pitt as arm candy, a mega humanitarian and has lips to die for. But for the love of god, can someone feed her!!!! Makes me feel better about myself as its a reminder to me that skinny is NOT always beautiful.

And as you can imagine I could go on and on. But I won't. Cause I want you to come back. Please. PLEASE come back!!

Ah well, that's enough for now. But if you ever feel inspired to have a go at celebrities in their Sunday bests, you should check out STUNT girls on FB. Every Monday Jill does a review of the highs and lows of celebrity fashion for the week. I love it. Look forward to it even. Anywho TTFN.

J

Listography - Goals for April

So, the ever fabbo Kate from Kate takes 5 has set the listography challenge of five goals for April.

Here goes mine:

1. Complete all unfinished sewing projects I currently have floating around. If I have cut it I will sew it (oooohhhh a little bit Field of Dreams there).

2. Loose 5 kilograms. I'm on my way.....If I loose 5 I'll only have, oh, say 25 to go.

3. Have a happy birthday! It's my birthday on the 5th so better make it awesome hey?

4. Cull some of the kids toys. I mean really, how many Disney Princess'/Fairies/Tea Sets do two kids need?

5. Catch up with some friends. I haven't been spending enough time maintaining my friendships lately so me thinks it's time to rectify that.

Happy April, have a great Easter full of chocolatey goodness and God Bless (if that's what you're into...which I'm not, but it's not all about the bunnies hey?)

J

My 10 Reasons To Smile.

SO, It's 7.30 at night and everyone else in my house is asleep. I decide to watch random videos on You Tube (as you do).

I then stumble across this video......10 Reasons To Smile. Watch it. It's 6 minutes of your life. Look away from the teev, log off Facebook, stop Tweeting, don't Pin anything, for 6 minutes, just watch this video.

I am not this brave most days and I am 32 years old. He is 17 and wise far beyond his years.

So, this teenager, from the other side of the world, has really made me realise I have an amazing life. I definitely can find 10 reasons to smile everyday. Here's my ten, in no particular order.

1. Amazing friends
2. My Two Beautiful Girls
3. My Husbanian
4. My Workmates
5. Music
6. Silence
7. Time to Myself
8. Sewing
9. A Good Coffee
10. Fresh Air

I know a couple of these seem like little things, but I think, if you can't enjoy those little things....well, you really have nothing.

J

My Two Cents

So I know I am somewhat sporadic with both my blog entries and releasing products and I just KNOW if I had 12 more hours each day I would have amazing creations coming out of my ears, but alas, there are only 24 and I need about 6 of them for sleep (ideally 10 for sleep...and yes I believe in Santa, The Tooth Fairy AND The Easter Bunny).

Anyways, that's not what I wanted to talk (write? blog?) about.

It seems there is always alot of negativity floating around Facebook regarding the copying of ideas and in some cases, in my opinion, the dumbest copyrighting manoeuvres I have ever seen.

It saddens me that this kind of pettiness occurs so openly between, what I can only assume, are grown women. There are really NO new ideas anymore, just interpretations or modifications of things already out there. I don't think anyone can honestly say that an idea is 100% theirs.

Take me for example. I make bags, that's my thing. I started with the Simple Satchel which basically involved myself, as a very novice sewer, analyzing a bag I had at home that I really liked and working out how the poke to make it myself. Then I made the everyday bag. I can proudly say that that was mine. I drew the design and I worked it all out. Myself. No pattern, no bag to copy. Still NOT original though. It's not like it's the first messenger bag to hit the market. I can only hope that my little spin on it makes it appealing to people on some level.

I'd like to think if anyone was approached to make a bag similar to mine, and they knew me, that they would talk to me first. I'm happy to share what I do, in fact I'd be flattered. I'd also hope if someone felt I had "copied" them they'd approach me in a discreet and professional manor instead of ripping me apart via wall postings or status updates.

You should never let your ego get in the way of a good product. I only strive to do the best I can to put my spin on those not so original ideas I have in a way that when you see them you think "Wow, That's a Feralique bag".

J

Point of interest....My top 5 Inventions/Discoveries (in no particular order)

1. Penicillin
2. Mechanical Heart Valve
3. Electricity
4. The Dishwasher
5. The Aglet (Go forth and Google)

Fix You

***LANGUAGE WARNING***

Wow....It's really amazing how things can change in a year or three.

Three years ago, before The Wookie was born I was living in a (reasonably) happy place. The husbanian and I got along well and I was pretty happy at work. I loved my job. I was good at it, don't get me wrong though, I still AM good at it. But thing change, priorities shift.

A year ago I had an epic meltdown. I started crying one Saturday night and didn't stop until the Monday afternoon. I was diagnosed with depression. Why thank you, Dr Obvious.

I've done all the right things to try and "fix" myself. I take my tablet every night, I've spoken to a counsellor, my boss, my family. But you know what, it ain't working. Just when I feel like I am on top of everything I have a week like this one. Everyday is a struggle to get out of bed. I don't want to talk to anyone, including my amazing friends that can ALWAYS make me laugh, I don't want to go to work, I want to cry ALL the time and I cannot drown out that negative voice in my head that's telling me I'm a failuree.

I'm NOT a failure....logically I know this, but man, that voice can get pretty fucking loud.

I need a change. I WANT to change my job but I feel, I guess, trapped. I am the primary money maker at home. Awesome pressure there. Not by anyone in particular but it's a fact. My wage pays the mortgage.

The other key factor is my job. It's all I've done since I was 17. I'm 32 now....It'll be 15 years in the same job (different places) in January so I am completely unqualified to do anything else. I don't even have retail experience. Last time I worked in customer service EFTPOS was virtually unheard of. How the fuck do you use one of those machines anyhow?

I have a dream though.......Around July last year I bought a sewing machine. I started sewing. I love it. My head is bursting with ideas and creations and things to make. I would love for Feralique to be a brand that everybody has heard of. I would love to do a TAFE course....but hey, can't fit that around work. So I'm looking for other options. I've always believed if you are unhappy in your situation you need to change it, I guess it's time for me to practice what I preach hey?

Anywho...That's enough sooking from me. Thanks for being a friendly ear though.

J

Listography - What makes a house a home

Feeling inspired to randomly list things tonight so I am following Mother Porridge's list this week with the 5 things that make my house a home.

1. NOISE.

 I am loud. My kids are loud. My music is loud. My husband....well he's not so loud. I love the noise in my house. The yelling, the laughter, the music, the singing. The noise is such a big part of what makes my place my HAPPY place.

2. THE COAT RACK.

It sits right next to the front door in the entry way. It's a beautiful timber thing that's bolted into the wall and has four coat hooks on it. From the lounge I have a perfect view. I can see footy flags, beanies, motorcycle helmets, handbags, children's aprons, a nappy bag and even a coat. It's a little slice of my life all in one space.

3. THE HALF FINISHED RENO'S.

The half done painting, skirting boards that still need to be nailed on, the kitchen that needs the second coat of paint, the window that STILL needs curtains. The fact that these are half done reminds me that this place is mine. And that, for now, I have time.

4. TOYS IN THE HALLWAY.

You know the ones....Usually Little People or Lego men or something else that friggin hurts when you step on it at 2am on your way to the bathroom. These remind me of the two small humans I have in my house that make me laugh, cry, get cranky, get frustrated and remind me of the best things I have ever done in my life.

5. THE TOWEL OVER THE BEDROOM DOOR.

 My husband isn't a big fan of using the towel rack, so the door it is. But, for words I can't explain, seeing the hubby's towel over the bedroom door just gives me that sense of comfort.

Thanks for reading. Mwah.

J